


there´s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway

by vicbartons



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 23:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11657082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vicbartons/pseuds/vicbartons
Summary: sometimes you need a friend to get through heartbreak. and sometimes, maybe, that friend might turn out to be more than just a friend somewhere down the line.





	there´s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway

**Author's Note:**

> title from "guillotine" by jon bellion

It was late October. Robert was sitting on the steps of the cricket pavilion, hunched over on himself, hands squeezing into the fabric of his windbreaker to brace himself from the cold. The autumn breeze was picking up, rustling past him and leaving coloured leaves swirling in its wake. Robert buried his nose in his scarf and watched them fall from the breech tree in front of him, as they slowly danced towards the ground where they disappeared in a pile of dozens of identical ones, waiting to be trampled into the field or swept away again. 

If Robert were one for poetics, he´d probably find a metaphor in that. About how things were falling apart, dying. About how he always managed to let everything beautiful in his life wither and die, or something.

_But he wasn´t._

Instead, he couldn´t help but be annoyed at the grey weather and the muddy ground that came with it for covering his expensive boots in dirt. That and the way the cold and wet were already creeping in through his soles and his woolen socks, making him shiver. 

Like his day wasn´t shit enough already.

He heard Leyla before he saw her. The gravel of the pathway grinding tightly under her heels, the crunching sound almost disruptive to the peace and quiet of the open field.

Wordlessly, she sat down next to him, placing a bag from David´s in front of her before wrapping her black fur vest a little tighter around her middle.

Robert could feel her expectant look on him, knew that she was waiting for him to apologise, but he didn´t say a word. So they just sat in wearisome silence for a while, both of them too stubborn to make the first step.

“You´re going to tell me then?“ In the end it was Leyla that spoke up first, of course it was, but her tone wasn´t nearly as harsh as Robert had expected it to be - as Robert would have deserved. It was soft and kind instead. “I saw Aaron in the pub earlier, you know,“ Leyla admitted, “sulking over his pint. Looked even more grumpy than usual,” she added, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Didn´t exactly need a detective to figure out why you´ve been in such a mood all day, after that.“

Robert took a deep breath, the pain in his chest easing slightly at Leyla´s words. It´s not that he wanted Aaron unhappy. God, that was the last thing he wanted, but it was nice to know that there was at least some tiny part of his ex-husband that still cared. Considering the icy way in which the two of them had been treating each other over the past few months, no matter how much of a concious decision that might have been on both their parts, it had sometimes felt as though he was the only one still living with an ache in his heart after their breakup. 

Aaron being happy was the one thing Robert wanted most in this world, especially after he´d been the one to hurt him so badly. It was why he had backed off in the end. Why he´d stopped fighting. Still, it was nice to know he wasn´t alone in his heartbreak.

“So? Out with it,“ Leyla interrupted his thoughts. A reminder that maybe he wasn´t actually completely alone in it anyway, unless he and his self-destructive tantrums had managed to ruin  _this_  as well.

He looked at her then and could feel the way her eyes were searching his face for an answer. Honesty had never been Robert´s strong suit, especially when it came to talking about his feelings, but this was Leyla asking and the two of them had somehow built a relationship over the past few months that was pretty much based entirely on that.  _Honesty._  (Well, that and their shared passion for all the finer things in life that most of the villagers didn´t appreciate in the way the two of them thought they should.)

This thing between them had started one night in the shop, under Eric´s pitying glance, Robert still hesitant to enter the pub, especially once Chas had returned from Ireland. Both of them had been nursing a glass of wine at seperate tables, trying and failing to drown their heartbreak in alcohol. It had only been a few days since Pete and Leyla´s wedding had been harshly interrupted by a sobbing Priya, trying to protect her best friend from a life with a cheating husband. 

They had shared a few looks over the rims of their glasses, before Leyla had come over and sat down across from him. She´d given him a small grin that hadn´t managed to reach her slightly puffy eyes - still red from what had to have been days of crying in Vanessa´s arms - and informed him that they were going to wallow and drink together, if only to feel and look a little less pathetic. And Robert had agreed. Mostly because the only people he´d spent time with outside of work over the past week had been Diane and Doug and he had desperately needed an escape from conversations about cabbage and the impending arrival of his son. 

After Eric had kicked them out, they had found their way onto the sofa at Tug Ghyll, still talking. All their pent-up emotions pouring out of them with the help of their second shared bottle of expensive white wine that they had drunkenly managed to nick from the shop.

And god, had it helped.  _Both of them._

So there was no point in lying to her now. 

“We got engaged a year ago today,” Robert explained and the words out of his mouth felt like a punch to the gut. Leyla´s eyes widened in realisation, but Robert was talking again before she could get a word in.

“Come to think of it, almost drowned a year ago today as well. Bit of a day that was,” Robert cleared his throat and gave her a weak smile, to no avail trying to conceal the uncomfortable weight those memories always prompted in the pit of his stomach with humour. Words failing her, Leyla only shuffled closer to him and pressed herself against Robert´s side, her arm wrapping around his waist in the hope of lending some comfort. 

“For a minute there, after he woke up and said yes, you know…For a minute I thought I had it all figured out,” he continued, “and now look at me…“ the words were tumbling from his mouth in quick succession, barely understandable as he mumbled them into his scarf, his tone strained with emotion.

Leyla understood him nonetheless. She always did. Both of them were far too familiar with each other´s emotional outbursts at this point for her not to.  She didn´t say anything, only laying her hand on top of the one that Robert had resting on his knee, her pink nailpolish a stark contrast against his pale skin.

“It´s pathetic, isn´t it?” he grumbled, clearly angry with himself, “Look at you! You´re so much better at dealing with this than I am and you´re not the one who ruined it all. You´d actually deserve to-” But Leyla wouldn´t even let him finish that sentence.

“I´m pretty sure the two buckets of ice cream you and me killed together the other night would like to differ,” she countered, unwilling to let Robert spiral into self-hate, the way it seemed to have become second nature to him whenever Aaron came up in conversation.

He couldn´t help but smile at that and let Leyla intertwine their fingers, her thumb drawing small, soothing circles across the back of his hand. 

“I didn´t even think. Sorry,” Leyla mumbled apologetically a moment later, “I should have remembered,“ she chastised herself, eyes big and brown and full of a warmth and understanding Robert didn´t think he deserved.

Robert shook his head. “No, you shouldn´t have.“

“True. You should have told me.“ 

Regardless of what half the village was gossiping about behind their backs, when they thought neither of them was listening, Robert and Leyla weren´t a couple . They were  _something_ though. Something between friends and a “more” that neither of them felt ready for. Yet. 

Which is why Robert knew that she was right. He should have told her.

Instead, in typical Robert Sugden fashion, he´d snapped at her that afternoon when she had started to go off on one about having caught Pete and Priya shamelessly making out in front of the pub on her way home from work. If Robert had been in a better mood, he would have joined her in her anger, before coming up with a good distraction. Like a Desperate Houswives boxset or maybe a nice dinner in Hotton. Instead, he´d stormed out of Ghyll´s, but not before letting her know that she should just get over herself, because it was pathetic enough that her inner clock was apparently ticking so loudly that she´d fallen for a dull nitwit like Pete in the first place. Yeah, definitely not one of his proudest moments.

“I´m sorry. For not telling you and for-“

„I know you are,” Leyla replied, not needing him to spell it all out, “just make sure it doesn´t happen again.“ Robert nodded, feeling the knot that had been sitting in his stomach all day finally loosening, if only just a bit.

“I´ll make it up to you,” he promised.

“Yes you will,“ she retorted, giving him a slight nod. Combined with her raised eyebrow and the challenging look she gave him, it was enough to let him know that there was already a nice new pair of shoes with her name on it sitting in a shelf somewhere, only waiting to be picked up by Robert during their next trip into town. 

“Just… next time,“ Leyla added with a more serious tone ,“don´t take it out on me, alright?“ She looped their arms together and pulled him closer to her side, so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. “Talk to me instead,” she softly scolded him, ”we both don´t need this.“ And she was right. After the couple of months the two of them had had, they really didn´t.

Cuddled together and lost in thought, they fell into a fairly comfortable silence. Much more so then the one they´d endured when Leyla had joined him on the steps just a little while earlier.

That was until Robert´s stomach growled loudly.

“Hungry?” Leyla asked, looking up at him.

Robert´s mouth curved into a small smile, the first honest one of the day. “Maybe,” he admitted. As if on queue, Leyla pulled two sandwiches from the bag she´d brought along from David´s.

“Hummus and coriander?” Robert asked.

“Obviously it´s hummus and coriander. Who do you think I am?” Leyla countered, handing him the sandwich, and her breath puffed a small cloud into the cold autumn air. 

They ate quietly next to each other, Leyla still curled against Robert´s side, just enjoying each other´s company. In the silence, Robert´s attention turned back towards the trees. The wind was still blowing leaves off of the breech, but now, in the dark orange glow of the setting sun, it made for a far prettier picture than it had just an hour ago.

Maybe the falling leaves could also be a metaphor for something else. For letting the things that were dragging him down go and for moving on. For making room for something new and beautiful in his life. Not tomorrow. Not right away. But somewhere down the line. It could be a metaphor for setting himself up for a fresh start, some light and happiness.

His eyes fell on Leyla then, who looked up at him and smiled, her eyes bright and her cheeks pink with the cold.

Yeah, he thought, as he took another bite from the sandwich, maybe they could be a metaphor for that.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr: [@vicbartons](http://www.vicbartons.tumblr.com)


End file.
